Planet Fitness Introduces Selfie-Only Membership for “Influencers”
New membership package perfect for people who enjoy pretending to work out more than actually working out. Planet Fitness has started signing up members to its revolutionary new “Selfie Only” …
Walmart Introduces Slow Lane at Self-Checkout, Perfect for Chatty Grannies
Delight for penny pinchers, supermarket socialites and shoppers who consider a three-minute transaction an unacceptable rush. Walmart has announced the introduction of a revolutionary new self-checkout system designed specifically for …
Perverts Rejoice as Meta Launches PeepingToms, The Next Gen Smart Spectacles
Men in relationships who have perfected the art of sneaking a quick glance at attractive passers-by can finally take their hobby to the next level, thanks to Meta’s camera-equipped Ray-Ban …
Dads United Against Plans to Force Airlines to Seat Families Together
American fathers are reportedly preparing to fight back against proposed plans to force airlines to seat family members together, following growing complaints from mothers who claim their children are being …
Trump Unveils “Great Britain Quality Control Visa”
President Donald Trump has announced a sweeping new visa category for British citizens, the GB-1 “Only Send Your Best” Visa, after concluding that the United Kingdom’s recent cultural exports no …
SURVEY: 94% of gluten intolerant people are actually intolerant people
PLUS… Find out how to spot a gluten-intolerant person and how to avoid them It’s official: the results are in. After a widespread survey covering all of the UK, including …
Elon Musk Announces “Productivity Exchange Programme” With North Korea
Elon Musk has reportedly agreed a groundbreaking “work exchange programme” with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un, under which nominated Tesla and X employees will spend between three months and a …