New membership package perfect for people who enjoy pretending to work out more than actually working out.
Planet Fitness has started signing up members to its revolutionary new “Selfie Only” gym membership, designed specifically for people who want everyone on social media to think they’re fitness fanatics without having to endure the inconvenience of breaking a sweat.
The package is the first of its kind and allows members to save money on traditional gym memberships while still enjoying unlimited opportunities to pose beside expensive exercise equipment they have absolutely no intention of using.
Starting at just $19.99 per month, the new membership will also give subscribers access to in-house gym photographers, who will provide expert guidance on how to look exhausted, create convincing sweat effects and master the various pouting positions required for a successful fitness influencer career.
Members will also receive advice on the most flattering angles for mirror selfies, how to make their biceps appear slightly larger and the correct facial expression to suggest they’ve just completed an exhausting 90-minute workout rather than spent 90 seconds taking photographs.
Speaking at the announcement of the new plans, Planet Fitness CEO Colleen Keating reportedly had the following to say:
“We’ve been watching member trends and listening to feedback. Many of our members visit our gyms up to seven days a week but don’t actually use the equipment. Instead, they spend their time taking photographs, checking their phones and occasionally splashing water on their faces before posting pictures to Instagram.
“We realised there was an opportunity to provide a membership that genuinely reflects how people are using our facilities. It’s all about giving members something that benefits them.”
The company is also considering a Selfie Narcissist plan, which will include complimentary protein shakes for members who have never lifted a weight, tight and revealing lululemon rentals and commitment from at least 3 men to stare in fake amazement for each selfie.
For more information about the new Selfie Only membership, contact your local Planet Fitness branch. Just remember to bring your phone, your best gym outfit and absolutely no intention of exercising.
