Elon Musk has reportedly agreed a groundbreaking “work exchange programme” with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un, under which nominated Tesla and X employees will spend between three months and a year in Pyongyang – “or longer, if they don’t shape up”, learning “next-level efficiency.”
In return, North Korean leaders will be flown to SpaceX facilities to experience “meetings that could have been an email.”
Sources close to the deal say the arrangement was finalised after a late-night video call in which Musk described the initiative as “the most ambitious optimisation programme since the invention of Tesla, a company I didn’t found but which I’ll take credit for.”
“We Can Learn So Much From Each Other”
Under the alleged agreement, Musk will send staff to North Korea to study obedience, workplace efficiency, and “how to limit free speech without making it awkward.”
A spokesperson for Musk said:
“Elon believes bureaucracy is the enemy of progress. Kim believes Western workers spend too much time complaining about sleep, wanting more time off with their families, and having opinions. We don’t want any of that. Kim does it right.”
Participants will reportedly receive a branded lanyard, a company hoodie, and a motivational card reminding them that “rest is a legacy mindset.”
What The Exchange Will Involve
The programme is said to include:
- Efficiency training: Engineers will attend intensive sessions on operating with minimal sleep, maximal enthusiasm, and no access to X. Optional hypnosis workshops will focus on “working harder for less.”
- Loyalty development: Delegates will observe morning lessons, pray to both Elon and Kim daily, and take part in dedication hours explaining the greatness of both leaders to colleagues.
- Neuralink suitability testing: Volunteers may test whether productivity improves when the brain is directly connected to a group chat, and whether subjects can be used to post propaganda “in a way that feels organic.”
Musk is believed to have praised North Korea’s “very tight feedback loops,” while Kim reportedly admired Musk’s ability to make thousands of people work late for equity that may or may not vest.
Critics Call It “Deeply Stupid”
Human rights groups, employment lawyers, and several people who have previously worked at a startup have criticised the programme.
Mary Hill of CNN said:
“There is a difference between a demanding workplace and an authoritarian state. Confusing the two is not edgy disruption; it is just an extremely expensive HR incident.”
Musk reportedly responded: “And that’s exactly why women shouldn’t have an opinions, or public opinions should at least be limited to people with rockets”
“A Lot To Respect”
Musk says he will press ahead with the exchange programme, insisting critics simply do not understand.
“People think North Koreans live under a repressive regime, but I’ve been there. North Koreans are happy, and they respect their leader without question. That is simply down to Kim’s policies – policies I deeply respect.”
Musk also announced that he has not ruled out opening GulagX, a proposed “performance improvement centre” for underperforming employees. He insisted it would not involve forced labour, describing it instead as “a training centre with excellent Wi-Fi and very limited exits.”
The Daily Prick will keep you posted with further developments on this exchange.
